Redemption

Hey. It’s been a while. Sorry, it’s not you. I promise, it’s me. God is so good, isnt He? I mean I know we read that, hear that and say that all the time, but seriously- who is like our God? He is the most loving, kind, faithful and AHHHHH words fail. Sometimes I wonder if even He struggles to describe Himself in our limited language (remember “I am that I am”?).  This past week I was in New Hampshire with reNew, a ministry that I am one of the leader’s of, for a two night mini conference. We have been there once before and anticipation was high for what God would do. There were many amazing things that happened and I am sure that at some point I will write or speak about many of them, but there were a few things that blew my mind on a personal level. 

As you may or may not know in another life, long before I began to live for and in Jesus Christ, I was a little on the ummm wild side. Okay a lot on the wild side. During that time, about 13 years ago I spent some time in the very same town in New Hampshire. I was in a place in my life where I lived for the next high, and I spent the majority of my time there in a drug induced haze, before the snow chased me back to south Florida. Had somebody told me that I would be back one day with my wife and a group of my closest friends, to lead people into the presence of God and see lives saved and chains broken, well, I would have laughed hysterically. reNew is a worship/teaching collab, and I speak at the events. Honestly I didn’t know what I was gonna speak about the first night until halfway through the last song before I took the stage. I had a message all prepped but as the worship went on I felt like God was leading me in a different direction.

 I honestly cant tell you exactly what I spoke about point by point, but I do remember talking a lot about the new life we have in Christ, that we are actually new creations- the old man dead on the cross with Christ, and a new man seated with Him in heavenly realms now lives! I gave a chance for response to the gospel, and a lot of people came forward to surrender their lives. I made my way off the stage and joined the prayer teams, praying with people. Suddenly I heard a voice “Roy” I looked over and there stood “Chris”. I’ll call him that for privacy sake. I couldn’t believe it, I hadnt seen him in 13 years- he was the one I hung out with the most during my brief stay in New Hampshire 13 years ago. I looked surprised I’m sure and said “Hey bro how are you?” the look on his face said more than any words could and I asked if he wanted to go in a different room and talk. He said yeah and we walked into the music room, which adjoins the auditorium at the high school, where we were holding reNew. To make a long story short I ended getting to pray with him and for him, as he called out to Jesus to be the Lord of his life! It was one of the coolest moments of my life, watching his face actually change and he began laughing and smiling as the years of guilt and shame were washed away by the love of God. He told me “ I haven’t smiled like this in years”.  I was wrecked. I couldn’t stop thanking God for what He had done, and even later that night, I found myself telling God how thankful I was, over and over. 

The next night was more of the same and then, reNew New England was done. The team spent Sunday going to some local churches, and a lot of hanging out with some of the amazing people that we have come to know in the area. There is a group of young people up there that are absolutely consumed with Jesus and they stoke us to be around them! After dinner and a lot of late night goofiness, someone mentioned that one of the young guys in the group wanted to be baptized. It was about midnight and I told him” if you want I’ll baptize you right now”. The conversation turned to where, and someone happened to mention a pond, just down the road. Well, five minutes later we were loaded into a truck and heading to the pond. It was 32 degrees out and felt colder than that. As we pulled up to the pond it hit me. I knew this place. Iv’e been here before. In the back of my mind a memory of a summer night 13 years before tumbled around. Me and some friends had been here swimming. Almost as if I was thinking about a story I’d been told about someone else, I remembered swimming in that pond- back then it had been called by a different name, because it was owned by different people, but it was the same pond. As we hopped out and went about the baptism, I didn’t really feel the cold water, or the icy grass. I was vaguely aware of the frigid air but mostly I was aware of Him. My Father. The Redeemer. The One who makes all things new. I bet He was stoked, as He saw yet again, the amazing ability of His love to make all things work together for my good. 

I began to realize that my life had really come full circle. As I thought about it I realized that my life is really just a ridiculous story of His redemption and grace. Of everything dying and all things being made new. I drove quite a bit of the ride home, and I was pretty quiet. I spent a lot of time thinking about the amazing grace of my Father. I was overwhelmed by the feeling that my life is perfectly on the path He has for me. I don’t know where that path leads, and I’m okay with that, because lets be honest- I would have never thought I’d be where I am today. I can’t wait to see what’s next. I have an amazing wife and kids, and the community that I get to do life with, is like none I’ve ever known. I cant wait to see where He leads, and while I know the story of my redemption was finished on the cross, I love reading each new day like a page, because the Author, well, He’s amazing!

Confession.

James 5:16 “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed…”

Admitting areas of our lives that we have struggled with is healthy, and, Biblical. It does not define us by what we struggle with, in fact it is only when we realize who we truly are that we can recognize behavior, thought patterns, or areas of our lives that do not line up. To refuse to admit that we have struggled with something does not make us more Christ-like, it makes us unreal. It makes us unrelatable. It robs the opportunity for others to learn from mistakes we have made and avoid those mistakes themselves. When we hold up the head of the giant for all to see, it empowers others that face that same giant (one of God’s favorite ways to work an evil thing for the good). None of us are perfect in our actions. This does not change the Fathers opinion of us. Because of Christ we are positionally Holy in the eyes of God, however that does not mean that we live practically Holy lives the minute we are saved. We still mess up, we still sometimes fall back into old habits. To act as if we became perfect (in action, not position) the minute we became saved- is dangerous. Lately I have worked with a lot of addicted people- drugs, alcohol, sex, etc… The one thing I hear from a lot of them over and over is - “I must not be a Christian, because I asked Jesus to save me and I still mess up”

What ?! I couldn’t believe they felt that way, but it made me start to think- have we portrayed perfection in action to the world, fearing that to admit struggle or areas we have struggled with in the past somehow make us less holy in Gods eyes? Or that to admit fault to each other means we have thoughts in our head that God doesn’t have in His? Have we gone so far as to begin to think we have nothing to admit or repent of, and portrayed that image to people, making them question their own salvation, because they see the imperfection in their lives? If we read the letters that Jesus wrote to the churches of the Earth in Revelation we see that He was painfully aware of their faults and warns of coming hardships, even death, if they did not repent. What if those letters were read (per Jesus’ instructions) in churches today. What if we heard these words being spoke and attributed to Jesus-

 ⁴‘But I have this against you, that you have left your first love.⁵‘Therefore remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first; or else I am coming to you and will remove your lampstand out of its place—unless you repent.”

¹⁴‘But I have a few things against you, because you have there some who hold the teaching of Balaam, who kept teaching Balak to put a stumbling block before the sons of Israel, to eat things sacrificed to idols and to commit acts of immorality.¹⁵‘So you also have some who in the same way hold the teaching of the Nicolatins ¹⁶‘Therefore repent; or else I am coming to you quickly, and I will make war against them with the sword of My mouth.”

 ”²⁰‘But I have this against you, that you tolerate the woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, and she teaches and leads My bond-servants astray so that they commit acts of immorality and eat things sacrificed to idols. I gave her time to repent, and she does not want to repent of her immorality.²²‘Behold, I will throw her on a bed of sickness, and those who commit adultery with her into great tribulation, unless they repent of her deeds.²³‘And I will kill her children with pestilence, and all the churches will know that I am He who searches the minds and hearts; and I will give to each one of you according to your deeds.”

“I know your deeds, that you have a name that you are alive, but you are dead.²‘Wake up, and strengthen the things that remain, which were about to die; for I have not found your deeds completed in the sight of My God.³‘So remember what you have received and heard; and keep it, and repent Therefore if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at ^(J)what hour I will come to you.”

¹⁵‘I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot.¹⁶‘So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth. ¹⁷‘Because you say, “I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,” and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked,¹⁸I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire so that you may become rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself, and that the shame of your nakedness will not be revealed; and eye salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see.¹⁹‘Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent.

Ouch. All of those are direct quotes from Jesus of Nazareth, post cross, post ascension. (Revelation 2-3) All of these were to churches that confessed Jesus as Lord. Reading this confronts religion in me. Did Jesus really say those things? Did He really just point out their faults and demand they change? If someone was to stand in front of a church and read any of those statements, and say that was a word straight from Jesus, would it be accepted today? Or would it be shot down, because there’s no way Jesus see’s and speaks to us about our faults?

The truth is that while we are positionally perfectly holy the minute we accept what Jesus did on the cross as our sacrifice and salvation, we are becoming practically holy in our actions as we are transformed into the image of Jesus. We struggle less and less with things as our minds are renewed, yet everyone I have ever met struggles at times with something- whether they see it or not. Jesus, when pointing out the sins of the various churches always came to the same conclusion- repent! “¹⁹‘Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent.” If you find yourself being confronted by Jesus on areas of your life that He wants changed, take heart, it’s because He loves you! It’s because He see’s who you really are, and can’t stand to see the stuff going on in your life that contradicts it.

To admit these issues and confess your faults leads to forgiveness, triumph, and freedom. It also shows people that Christians (even…gasp- pastors) mess up. The aura of perceived perfection is broken, and the freedom to confess faults is released, without causing people to question their own salvation. My admission of fault to my kids when I react in an unChristlike manner to them, has developed a freedom of confession and forgiveness that I cherish. Recently when talking to someone who called for advice, I relayed a situation I had gone through, they were shocked and remarked- “and yet you are still a man of God!!” the aura of perfection was shattered and they could see that they were no worse than anyone else, and just as in need of a savior! The most destructive thing we can do is deny the truth that the Holy Spirit is revealing to us, as if simply saying “God loves me” does the work of repentance in our lives. He is only telling you areas that need change, because He loves you and wants the best for you, just as Jesus did when writing the letters to the churches. Don’t take condemnation, take heart, you are being refined, by the loving fire of the Father. The you on the other side is more free, more victorious, and more beautiful- it’s so worth it.

“Many Christians repent enough to get forgiven but not enough to see the Kingdom.” -Bill Johnson

(If you struggle with positional identity, read my blog below this one)

The real me…

I am not a filthy wretched sinner. I was created by God. I am His idea, and there is no way that when He designed and created me, when He dreamed me up, that He had that in mind. To say thats what I am, is to say that. It goes against everything I know about the Father. The identity of sinner is something that I took on entering this world. It is not my real identity any more than dressing up as a pirate on Halloween makes me a pirate. My real identity, the one God had in mind when He created me, was revealed at the cross. When the blood of Jesus washed me of all the junk I put on to disguise the real me. The old me, the counterfeit me was put to death, and the new creation was resurrected with Christ. The son, the brother, the friend, the lover. Thats what He created me for, that’s why I am alive, to love and be loved by Him. That’s the real me, that’s the man I was created to be. All that other stuff was as fake as a three dollar bill. The freedom we find in Christ is the freedom to be ourselves, just as God intended. Able to represent Jesus to a world that desperately needs Him. Not because I have to. Because it’s impossible not to, as I live before the eyes of my Father, led by His Spirit. Not trying to attain love, but because I AM LOVED. It is why you are alive. Anyone or thing that says otherwise sets themselves in opposition to God, and in any discussion involving my identity, the Creator’s opinion is the only one that counts ! 

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you…” Jeremiah 1:5

“therefore if anyone is in Christ HE IS A NEW CREATION, the old has gone the new has come” 2 Corinthians 5:17

Revelation…

“Jesus I want to see you. I want to know you. Like, really know you.” Ever say something like that? I have. Many times. Many, many, many, times. I feel as though my prayer has been answered in measure, but I find myself asking for this over and over. I find myself thinking “there must be a place of abiding where Jesus is continually revealing himself to me.” This morning I was reading the Word, and I came upon a verse which I am sure I have read many times, but this time it was different. This time it wasn’t like the other times. This time, I got it. I was reading John’s gospel ( I have been stuck on the book of John for about a year now, I read others, but I always find myself back in John) As I was reading I came across the 14th chapter, and I came to an amazing blueprint for revelation of Christ to become a constant in my life. I am excited about it. I am thanking God for it. I want you to read it and let it speak to you. Maybe this is old news to you. I’m not gonna explain what it said to me exactly, let Holy Spirit speak to you. He’ll do a better job than I would anyways, he knows your heart and your life intimately.

 “Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him.”- Jesus of Nazareth 

Don’t get too weird…

So, I’ve been thinking again. Why is the church afraid of the power of the Holy Spirit? I mean seriously, it’s time to quit pawning off our fear or uncertainty, as concern for others. Think about it. Kids are licking frogs backs and eating mushrooms out of cow crap hoping to see something different, and we think talking about miracles and the supernatural will scare them away? I think people are running from church because we have reduced it to a sterile “say this prayer, pay this tithe, now join as a member” experience, rather than living out the radical lives Christ has called us to! The life of a follower of Christ should be anything but ordinary, it should make the newest Hollywood movie look weak. “But what if it gets messy?” What if it get’s glorious?  ”How do we keep it under control?” When did God ask you to control His Spirit?   Seriously, it’s time for us to realize that God wants to do things that we have never seen much less planned for. It will get different, it will get strange, you won’t understand everything. And yeah, occasionally we’ll have a mess. Whats the alternative? Sterile, clean, we understand and can do everything that happens on our own? Is that what we really want? Where is that description of church in the Bible…?

Look to the sky, hear the angels cry…

Yesterday was amazing. For real. That word gets thrown around a lot, but this time I mean it, I literally had a moment of utter amazement and wonder. It happened yesterday at Outreach church, where I pastor. We were singing a song called His Glory Appears by Hillsong. There is a line in the song that says “look to the sky, hear the angels cry, singing holy is the Lord” as we were singing that line I realized that at that moment there actually were angels singing that very thing in Heaven. I began to wonder what it sounds like, and thought that it would be amazing to hear. I wish I could now write that I believed we would hear it, but that wouldn’t be true. We sang another song and as I began to reveal my heart and speak what God was saying to me during worship, there was suddenly a voice singing “Holy is, our God” It was beautiful. Absolutely angelic. It was coming from the new guy, who sits in the front left of church with his wife. He doesn’t look like a singer (if that makes any sense) and has never mentioned singing in any conversations. He sang that line over and over, and the rest of the church began to join. Then there were harmony lines coming from who knows where, followed by musicians joining. No planning, no click track, no words on the screens, just worship. Pure unhindered adoration of God. In the end, I was left shaking in wonder and amazement, once again in awe of my Dad’s ability to reveal Himself, even when I didn’t think to ask. SHABBA

There’s Gotta Be More…

That’s the Trans-Siberian Orchestra last Saturday night at the Bi-Lo center in Greenville SC. I went with a group of friends to see them. I’m not a big movie or concert goer. In fact I have only been to 4 movies in the past 9 years. The Passion of the Christ, just Married, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, and Up. That’s it. There are 3 main reason’s for this.

1. Im a cheapskate. I cant see spending $30.00 to watch people I don’t know acting out scenario’s that are dreamed up in the heads of people I don’t know.

2. There’s very little being produced by Hollywood nowadays that I feel is worth 2 hours of my life. In life we exchange something for everything that we get. Time is one of the most valuable things we posses, to exchange it for most of what is being produced right now just kinda feels like a waste.  ( I will resist the temptation to rant about the desensitizing of a generation… for now.)

3. I leave most movies feeling at best the same as I entered, most of the times, like I am a little emptier. It’s the truth, I never leave feeling as though I have gained anything from the experience- except the Passion, that wrecked me, if for no other reason than it supplied my head with images to match the words I’ve heard for a lifetime.

As far as concerts go, heres the deal. I love music. I always have. I love to sing, I wish I could play an instrument, and I admire the talent of those that can. I have at different stages of my life, been into punk rock, rap, folk, metal, and country, and I still have favorite songs from each genre that I really like. But here’s the thing- for a while now I have been drawn to music that moves me, and specifically moves me towards the heart of God. All music moves us, that’s certain. There is no way that we can listen to, and sing along with words set to a melody, and it not affect us. It’s just not possible. Even if it only moves you to reach over and change the station or push next on your iPod, as you realize that you don’t care for that particular person’s expression of worship. Yeah worship. All music is worship. All worship isn’t music, but all music is worship.  All music glorifies something. All music praises something. A lot of times its self, money, sex, or fame. Think about it, there are no such thing as empty words. They mean something to someone. Maybe that’s why David said  ”YOUR praises will always fill my mouth…”(Psalm 71) Whether our words would give praise to someone or something doesn’t seem to be in question. The issue is WHO’S praises would fill our mouths. Words have the power to change the atmosphere, they can speak life or deth, blessing or cursing. Words are powerful, whether spoken or sung. Remember Jesus telling his disciples “¹⁷ “Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? ¹⁸ But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them.” (matt 15) Maybe thats why singing is such a vulnerable, emotional thing. It exposes our hearts. 

So what does this have to do with the Trans Siberian Orchestra? Well, after I went, the next few days when I had conversations with people and it came up, I was asked the same question over and over- “How was it?” this was my answer- I had a blast hanging out with friends, but I can do that anywhere. The musicians are very skilled, the production, from the lighting and pyrotechnics, to the moving stages, was the best I’ve ever seen. It was very entertaining. But, in the end, it left me feeling like something was missing. There just wasnt much there…

To be fair the last 3 “concerts” I have been to prior to Saturday night, were reNew in New England, where I saw the power of God ignite a city, Hillsong United’s conference in Miami, and Jesus Culture’s conference in Atlanta. Also, I am spoiled by serving with one of the most amazing worship teams ever at Outreach Church. They are not just talented, they have abandoned themselves to the pursuit of God and value His presence above all else. Each of these experiences, and worship on a weekly basis at Outreach, has marked my heart, and changed my life. The Trans Siberian Orchestra did nothing. Seriously, I didn’t feel anything. At all.  

I started to write this blog to say that that I went to what should have been an amazing concert and somehow it felt hollow, and while writing it, I think I realized why…

Why do we do it…

Why do we do what we do? I mean really, why do we do it? This thing we call church. I have been thinking a lot lately about why we do some of the stuff we do. Is there a Biblical model for constructing a building, erecting a sign, and saying “here we are, come get it”? Do we measure success by the number of people coming in or people going out? Obviously we love for people to come to a service, and it is amazing to see the life transformation of people, as they are encountered by the presence of God, but are we focusing on the commands of Jesus to take the Gospel to all the nations, beginning with our city. Literally are we TAKING the gospel to our community in word and deed? Are we re-presenting Jesus to our community in such a way that people are falling in love?Hmmmmm…

so ummmm yeah I have a blog now…

Here we go. As my first day stepping away from being a business owner and pastor and into simply being a pastor ( not so simple sometimes ) comes to an end, I have decided to start blogging. I am constantly being amazed by our amazing Father, and want to share some of the things that God shows me. Today I was blown away at the different facet of Gods beauty that is reflected by each person that I meet. God created each of us to be amazing and display a unique side of His creativity. We do ourselves and the world a disservice when we don’t embrace who God created us to be, and instead try to be something we are not. The world is waiting for you to just be you. In case you’ve forgotten, your pretty amazing…